Sam Reviews "Letting Ana Go" by Anonymous

Trigger warning!  At least for me.  I'm not anorexic in the slightest but I do get bad anxiety whenever I think too long about food, weight, calories, carbs etc., so it was a roller coaster getting through this book.  Overall I did think this was a good book, it didn't feel real and talked about the real nitty gritty dangers of anorexic / bulimic behavior.  Worth reading if you've enjoyed any of the other "Anonymous" style books.

"Jack is the kind of guy I never had to worry about.  This is the boy who wants me to come in and talk to his mom.  He's the boy who wants to show me the moon."

"I've been trying to remember a time when my dad arrived at the door with flowers for my mom or me and I simply can't.  Typically,  when he showed up with a surprise,  it was a car of some kind.  As I stared at Jack's blue eyes, twinkling over the tops of the roses, I decided that flowers were better than a SUV any day." 

^Yeah okay wtf ever

So bizarre that this book references when "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"was in theaters considering when I was in high school there weren't even rumors of a movie. This book was published in 2013.

"'I love you just the way you are. Doesn't that count for anything?'
"All I could do was shrug.  He shook his head and took a step backward.
"'I don't understand how that doesn't make everything better.  I keep thinking if I love you hard enough,  or well enough,  that you'll learn how to love yourself the way I do.'"

Sam Reviews "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" by Anonymous (aka Amy Reed)

I feel like this a poor comparison to the book "Go Ask Alice". Granted, it has been some time since I read that book, I know this book was meant to be "inspired by" Alice, and I feel it feel extremely short. This book didn't read like the true diary of a 17 year old girl who fell into the wrong crowd. Honestly, this book read like novel written by the creators of D.A.R.E. Had I read this in middle school, I probably would have bought it more, but reading it as an adult with similar experiences (nothing stronger than weed), I feel like this book made it seem like doing weed is an instantaneous gateway to pills, cocaine, and shooting up meth and heroin, which makes the story seem ridiculously unrealistic.

In addition to the unrealistically addictive weed the main character was smoking, there was a decent amount of careless remarks about 9/11, especially considering this book was only written a year after the incident happened.

There was also a scene near the end in a public restroom that was super fucking gross, and extremely ridiculous considering the character development up to that point.

"It's so weird sharing a birthday with your county. Always fireworks:  never for you." 

"I feel like smoking pot used to be this thing that I was like TOTALLY AGAINST because of all the stuff that everybody tells you and because of the people who you see at school do it. ...now I'm different. Probably because I'm making the decision to do what I want. I never realized how much I let everyone else decide what I'm going to do."

"It felt so good to be there with them,  to feel like I was a part of something special. "

"You could have knocked me over with a text message."  Wtf is that even supposed to mean?!

"There's something about being up in the air like this and seeing the whole city laid out below me that never gets old.  It looks beautiful from so far away, like somebody lined up perfect strands of red and white holiday lights in a grid and then plugged in the whole city.  When you're driving around down in it, there's so much light, and noise and honking and screaming and laughter and music, but up in the hills, it looks so peaceful and everything is so quiet." 

"I just can't. I don't have the energy. I don't need a date. I need a nap."

"I've always thought that the invisible and the imaginary are the same thing."

Sam Reviews "The Lace Reader" by Brunonia Barry

It isn't a bad story, but I had a hard time getting over the feeling that not a whole lot was happening in the first half of the book, which makes it difficult to sit down and commit to story.  After the 75% point things took an active turn.  I really did love the ending, but I can't see myself re-reading this book because of it's slow build up.

"...one time, we broke into a house and actually cleaned it.  That's the kind of thing only a girl would do.  Outlaw certainly, but homemaker, too."

"...she is attached to him, as usual.  He compensates for it, like someone with a disability does, learning to move with her, forgetting after a while that this isn't the way he has always walked."

"I see people stealing glances at us when they think we're not looking. Maybe that always happens at funerals,  those looks, maybe they happen all the time,  but families never notice because they're facing forward,  looking at the coffin and not the congregation." 

"[The witches]  are the only ones who are not treating this as a solemn occasion.  They talk quietly among themselves, greeting others as they come in. Death isn't the same for the witches ... because they don't attach the prospect of eternal damnation to it." 

"People are defined,  finally,  by the good works they do." 

"I realize the selfishness of children. We love them, and we revolve around their universes,  but they don't revolve around ours." 

"Friendly fire,  as if there is any such thing." 

"Even three thousand miles away in California,  as far as I can get without falling off the edge of the earth, I can still see May's light." 

"In this moment he understood the draw of redemption. He understood why people wanted to be born again. Accept Jesus and you get a free ticket to heaven. No matter what you did in the past or would do in the future. When you were saved,  you were saved. No penance. No Hail Marys, no moral inventories,  no ninth-step amends.  The Calvinists preached fire and brimstone,  but only to the unsaved:  the Catholics,  the Jews,  the Wiccans. The insiders were protected. A few indulgences and some tithing bought you an insurance policy. Who the hell wouldn't want to join a religion like that?" 

"It's bad luck to watch people until they are out of sight." 

"You aren't supposed to swim if you fall into 50 degree or colder water. You are supposed to just stay there,  using as little energy as possible and wait until someone recuses you. If you start to swim,  you'll force all your blood to you extremities and away from your vital organs. You'll die a hell of a lot faster that way." 

"Her hair was blowing, and so was the gown. She looked like a goddess from some Greek myth. A wave of jealousy hit me hard. Not just because she was standing there so beautiful,  with Jack looking up at her like that, but  because the entire scenario seemed so completely staged. She must have been standing there for a while just waiting for us to see her ... it was so calculated it was ludicrous, and I couldn't believe Jack would actually be stupid enough to fall for it." 

"'This island doesn't have a name. That sandbar over there has a name - they even named that, but  they never named this place. It slipped through the cracks.'
"'Maybe it doesn't really exist. Maybe we're the ones who have slipped through the cracks.'"

"You're an interesting woman. You walk that line. The one between the real world and the world of the possible." 

"Sometimes running away was exactly what you should do. Sometimes the only thing you could do was run away and never look back."

Sam Reviews "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" by Maya Angelou

Memoirs are hard to rate because some stories are better than others, but overall this was a very nice read. Maya lead a very interesting life even before she turned 18 and I was never bored reading her stories. I'm a little disappointed that my high school never made me read this book, so I experienced it for the first time at 23, but I'm glad I did. I'd recommend this to anyone who already knows they like memoirs, but also to people who are just starting to get into them (like me!).

"I hadn't so much forgotten as I couldn't bring myself to remember. Other things were more important."

"[The town]  closed in around us,  as a real mother embraces a stranger's child. Warmly,  but not too familiarly."

"I could feel the evilness flowing through my body and waiting,  pent up, to rush off my tongue if I tried to open my mouth. I clamped my teeth shut,  I'd hold it in. If it escaped,  wouldn't it flood the world and all the innocent people?"

"I have never known if Momma sent for us, or if the St.Louis family got fed up with my grim presence. There is nothing more appalling than a constantly morose child."

"I was liked,  and what a difference it made. ...  Childhood's logic never asks to be proved (all conclusions are absolute).  I didn't question why Mrs. Flowers had singled me out for attention."

"For a few seconds it was a tossup over whether I would laugh (imagine being named Hallelujah) or cry (imagine letting some white woman rename you [Glory] for her convenience."

"Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives."

"She was our mother and belonged to us. She was never mentioned to anyone because we simply didn't have enough of her to share."

"Bailey was talking so fast he forgot to stutter."

"What child can resist a mother who laughs freely and often?"

"Through food we learned that there were other people in the world."

"I concerned myself less about everything and everyone. I often thought of the tedium of life once one had seen all its surprises."

"I had known all along the inevitable outcome and that I dared not poke into his knapsack of misery,  even with the offer to help him carry it."

"My tears were ... for the hopelessness of all mortals who live on the sufferance of Life. In order to avoid this bitter end,  we would all have to be born again,  and born with the knowledge of alternatives. Even then?"

"Nat King Cole warned the world to "straighten up and fly right."  As if they could,  as if human  beings could make a choice."

"Even as the scene was being enacted I realized the imbalance in his values. He thought I was giving him something, and  the fact of the matter was that it was my intention to take something from him.  His good looks and popularity had made him so inordinately conceited that they blinded him to that possibility."

Sam Reviews "Buffering: Unshared Tales of a Life Fully Loaded" by Hannah Hart

Buffering was everything I wanted it to be and more. I find Hannah Hart to be one of the most selfless and inspiring pop culture figures today. Starting off by utilizing her publicity tour as a way to encourage people to volunteer their time at food banks, to now getting the nitty gritty details of the struggles she has overcome, I don't know how someone could not appreciate her light. I'm not typically one to favor non-fiction books, but I managed to swallow this one whole in three days. I'll be honest, there were section in the book I felt were a little jumbled and I did have to go back and reread in order to regain my footing in the story, but overall this was a lovely memoir and I'm so glad Hannah opened herself up to her fans (and hopefully to other people as well).

As much as I want everyone to read this book for themselves, I also can't keep from sharing these wonderful, beautiful snippets from her story.

"Selfishly, I wanted to write this to feel less alone.  Selflessly, I hope it helps you feel less alone too."

"Regarding the appearance of the house alone,  the level of filth,  one would think that five people were living here,  but the feeling of stillness,  the dust,  the stagnance of inactivity were inescapable markers of the truth."

"I feel guilty,  like I'm blowing up a museum.  It's no wonder Mom can't throw these things away.   Of course she can't.  It feels like disposing of a body or packing up after a funeral.  Aside from the damp breaths of mold or the soft smell of rot associated with the clothes,  there are a thousand memories attached to each item. ... At a time when we had so little these clothes gave us so much.  Until now. Until this moment when I throw it all into this big black bag.   The reward for their tenure."

"... maybe she's been saving all this stuff for so long because she was waiting for her life to start back up again.  Is that hope?"

"Sometimes we have to start over and make new heirlooms for our children to eventually put into their own boxes or bags as they see fit. "

"'Am I ever going to get a real job? I work part time,  dude.  At a coffee shop.  Is this going to be my life forever?'
"'There's no such thing as forever,  man!  It's just right now.  And right now you work at a coffee shop and you're learning how to be an awesome barista.  We love coffee shops!  That's cool!'

"'I think I have to realize that being 27 and not having done my thing yet is not the catastrophe it seems to be.'"

"Depression is a wordless whisperer telling you that this feeling is the true feeling and that every other feeling you've ever had was only temporary.  This is your lasting reality.  Those memories you called happiness or peace were just distractions,  but this is you at your most real.  Don't bother to fight against it,  because you're always fighting against it,  and since you're fighting against your own nature,  you'll never fully win."

"Sometimes I have to remind myself that I am real."

"... healthy relationships weren't born out of the desperation to avoid a feeling of loneliness.  ...  Loneliness can come with you into even the most crowded of rooms."

"... dealing with depression isn't about trying to run away from the feeling; it's about learning to walk alongside it."

"I felt young and inexperienced but also free and reckless."

"'The only real danger is the comedown [from ecstacy]'

"'How will I know when I'm coming down?'
"'When all the judgement starts to seep back in.'"

"This girl, who had been a stranger an hour before, was now someone I knew I could trust.  We all trust until we're taught otherwise."

"Was I myself only when I was with other people?  Could I be myself alone?  Did I have a self alone?"

"Walk until you see a new perspective. You may not see a way out, but you can always change your perspective."

"You know what another word for fear is?  Intelligence."

"Achieving inner peace is real.  It's out there.  You just have to be willing to walk past the darkness, and even past the light, to find it."

"If you're the type of person who is logging internal complaints 99 percent of the time, it's not actually about the outside circumstances, it's about your internal head space.  Think about it...what are the odds that you're actually constantly surrounded by idiots? ... If you're someone who likes to complain and be negative, ain't nothing gonna change that but you."

"First anger, then guilt, then isolation.  That was the only pattern I knew."

"'Is it always this bad?'
"'Not always. But sometimes. Just like everything else.'"

"There are no bad guys in this story.  Things are always more complicated than one person who was wrong or one person who was selfish.  ...  Sometimes it's easier to decide that someone is the bad guy.  But the truth is never that simple."

"She said that handsome men don't stay handsome for long.  Or maybe she just said they don't stay long.  Both turned out to be true."

"You're a good person.  You're the best of any of us.  You'll take care of so many things."

"'I'm not your dad.  We're friends. We're family. But I'm not your dad.  Your dad is a good man.  He's just not here.'
"'Yeah, but you're here.'"

"What's the point of keeping a fragment of something that was already gone?"

"This is a message for those of you who contemplate permanent solutions to temporary problems [suicide].  You never know what could be coming in the future.  There is so much music you've yet to hear."

"We'll grow old together and laugh while we watch each other fall apart.  I love you."

"For his sake, I'm glad he disappeared.  I don't blame him.  I know it was an act of self-preservation."

"If you ask me about "the first time I thought I might be gay" ... I could say it was any time I was near another girl at all and she smelled so clean and nice and I wanted to be her favorite thing in the world.  ...   The truth is that I think it was in every moment."

"Denial is both active and passive."

"I'm glad we were on the same page. But I think that was the last time that we ever were."

"I wasn't gay when people asked me who I was dating because she and I weren't dating:  we were in love.  Good thing that she wasn't gay either. She was just experimenting and that's what she told everyone. Which is why she was comfortable talking about it. But I couldn't talk about it with my family because I knew we weren't an experiment. We'd get married (as two straight women) and then and only then would I tell my family. I didn't need to say the word "gay" because this wasn't long term. I wasn't gay at all, I was simply hers."

"The kind of conflict that's quiet - the quiet of two people who know that something is about to go terribly wrong. The quiet before an earthquake. Except who knew if the earthquake was going to bring forth a volcano and who knew if that volcano would destroy everything we had built."

"I was formed in response to her,  as she was formed in response to me. We were each other's parent and each other's child."

Sam Reviews "American Psycho" by Bret Easton Ellis

It took me way too long to finish this book, but I really did not enjoy it.  I did not appreciate the incessant description of what name brand clothing the characters were wearing or the bizarre foods they were eating.  While the description during some of the more sinister scenes was enticing, those scenes did not make up for the amount of boring chapters in this book.  I understand why these chapters were there, they were meant to show the inner workings of this man's mind, but I really didn't want to know about those bits.  I don't know who I would recommend this book to.  I don't see myself going out of my way to read other books by this author.

"I keep studying her face,  bored by how beautiful it is,  flawless really."

"It's so much worse (and more pleasurable)  taking the life of someone who has hit his or her prime,  who has the beginnings of a full history, a spouse, a network of friends, a career,  whose death will upset far more people whose capacity for grief is limitless than a child's would,  perhaps ruin many more lives..."

"'People need each other.'
"'Some don't.  Or, well, people compensate.  They adjust.  People can get accustomed to anything, right?'"

"It did not occur to me,  ever,  that people were good or that a man was capable of change or that the world could ever be a better place through one's taking pleasure in a feeling or a look or a gesture, of receiving another person's love or kindness."

"You should never mistake affection for passion.  It can be not good. It can get you into trouble."

"There isn't any way I could be disappointed since I no longer find anything worth looking forward to."

"My personality is sketchy and unformed, my heartlessness goes deep and is persistent."

"Is evil something you are?  Or is it something you do?"

"My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone.  In fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape."

"Why not end up with her?  She has a better body than most every other girl I know.  Everyone is interchangeable anyway. It doesn't really matter."

Sam Reviews "The Carousel" (The Locket #3) by Richard Paul Evans

I had read The Carousel back in 2009, and even then I jotted down many a quote that I still love to this day.  It took me way too long to finish this because I moved and took a break from reading right in the middle of it, but I still love this book.  I still don't really see how "The Looking Glass" ties into this and "The Locket" so personally I would suggest just reading "The Locket" then "The Carousel" and judge the books based on that.  I think the love story is so great and (mostly) realistic, which is my favorite type.  And while this is more of a "happily ever after" type story, I do find a lot of my personal philosophy of love articulated in this author's story, which is also my favorite type.

"To dream is to hope.  To hope is to live."

"Love cannot exist without forgiveness and faith is more enduring than understanding."

"I do not understand, with so many people on this planet, so many die alone."

"It was no great coincidence that Della died on her birthday, as every day was Della's birthday.  ... Some delusions, even in the clear-minded, are best left unchallenged."

"Hey, baby, ain't it a shame.  All those curves and me with no brakes."

"Summer is a fever of sorts.  Hot and deceptive.  Like falling in love."

"Faye was perennially summer.  More than bronze-skinned and barefoot, she was the warm nights of the sea-son, the hot breeze that caressed my hair, dampened my brow, and filled each breath.  Summer and all its reckless promise."

"We both knew that it would be our last carefree summer together.  We spent those days constructing our dreams of a life together, clinging to each hour as tightly as a mountain climber holds to the rock face of a vertical climb, tethering our dreams and futures to our promises.  But summer always ends.  And in the end, promises weren't enough."

"There's something about standing on the edge of a cliff that takes the words from you."

"Despite our culture's fascination with death, we go to great lengths to conceal it from ourselves, pushing it out the back doors of hospitals in unmarked vans, and into secluded corners where we can safely get on with the business of ignoring our own mortality."

"I anticipated her evening call as the addict anticipates a fix, knowing all the while that just minutes after she hung up, the rush would wear off and the need for her would be all the greater."

"She was mixed up, perhaps no more than every teenager trapped in the adolescent house of mirrors, but she seemed more confused than most."

"What is it they say about college philosophy?  You remember just enough to screw up the rest of your life."

"I don't know why we delude ourselves that life is predictable and safe, when it's really just a carton of eggs - always just one stumble away from being scrambled."

"There are times when doing what is right and avoiding the appearance of evil are not the same thing."

"It was ecstasy being alone with her. I should have known it could not last."

"Depression is a box of lies. The person trapped in this darkness often is unable to see past its murk to future happiness or even past joys.  They believe, erroneously,  that they have always been unhappy and,  therefore, always will be."

"What remained [of Faye] was numb,  bathed in the psychological anesthetic required for emotional survival."

"The sun will rise again. The only question is whether or not we will be there to greet it."

"Though we pay homage to the gods of intellect and reason,  in the end we believe what we want to believe."

"The drowning man is not picky about which lifeboat he climbs into."

"Love is a reaction of the pituitary. Researchers say that when the pituitary is removed,  that person never feels that whirlwind,  head over heels feeling of love. ...  i think i could have used a pituitary- ectomy years ago.   I'm bad at love.  I just throw my heart up like a skeet target to see if anyone wants to blow it into a million pieces."

"I'm not into fatalism. At least i dont think i am.  But sometimes i think there might be something to it.  I don't believe that we're meant to go through this life alone."

"The opposite of love isn't anger. It's indifference."

"One of the sweetest women I had ever known had just walked out of my life. And the only honest and kind thing I could do was let her go."

"Life isn't like any carousel I have ever known. It's not safe or predictable. We never know where or when someone's going to get off.  There are no promises.  The truth is, if we knew what the ride was like we probably would have just saved the ticket."

"We can't promise our time.  It's not ours to give.   The best we can promise is our hearts.  And the most we can hope for is to live each moment so when it's all over,  there are no regrets."

"I don't know who you are anymore. I don't know what you're thinking.  I'm afraid of you."

Carole's Review: Time and Regret by MK Tod

Author: MK Tod
Title: Time and Regret
Genre: Historical Fiction and Mystery
Pages: ebook
First Published: August 16th 2016 
Where I Got It: My Shelf (Given to me by the author/publisher for an honest and unbiased review)

When Grace Hansen finds a box belonging to her beloved grandfather, she has no idea it holds the key to his past—and to long-buried family secrets. In the box are his World War I diaries and a cryptic note addressed to her. Determined to solve her grandfather’s puzzle, Grace follows his diary entries across towns and battle sites in northern France, where she becomes increasingly drawn to a charming French man—and suddenly aware that someone is following her…

Through her grandfather’s vivid writing and Grace’s own travels, a picture emerges of a man very unlike the one who raised her: one who watched countless friends and loved ones die horrifically in battle; one who lived a life of regret. But her grandfather wasn’t the only one harboring secrets, and the more Grace learns about her family, the less she thinks she can trust them.




Oooooh WWI. Such a bloody, bloody war. So many people lost their lives! I'm glad this story shared Martin's tale as well Grace's. It showed his journey as well as Grace's. The author did an amazing job with showing the true brutality of the war and the survivor's guilt. Beautiful job.

Normally I prefer one POV over the other, but for this one, I really liked both. Both had me hooked and I couldn't wait for the continuation of both. The author did a good job with the switching between WWI and the 1990s. Kuddos. It can be tough transitioning. 

So many secrets and so many regrets on all sides! Lies, blackmail, secrets, stealing, killing, and so much more! Poor Grace! LOLLL 

Poor Martin. :( He really did have a hard time. However, he was a clever man and taught Grace well on how to decipher the secrets he had. 

Now, the culprit at the end surprised me for sure. Yes, I did suspect that person....but everyone was on my radar. However, as the story progressed I did have my money on someone else. The culprit did make me sad. I really had hoped it wouldn't be that person. Super bummer....but it did make a lot of sense honestly. 

Why was Grandmama/Cynthia was such a B! But I don't understand it fully. Why would Martin stay with her or put up with her being so mean to Grace? You can't help who you love, but he should have put his foot down and told her off. I think she needed a reminder that you can't be a B whenever you wanted. Yes, it did make the story interesting and make it harder for Grace to solve the mystery....but yeah. Not cool. 

My only real complaint was the ending after the reveal and whatnot. It did seem to drag on and on. It felt like it was never going to end and I expected more to be revealed, but nothing was. 

Pierre was meh to me. He was nice and I'm glad Grace found him....but I guess I wasn't taken in by his charm. 

I was utterly hooked from page one. The characters were interesting and I was very involved with both of their stories. I will admit...I teared up a couple of times during Martin's story! THE FEELS DAMMIT! THE FEELS! War is such a nasty, nasty thing especially WWI. WWI was the beginning of the shift of how warfare was done. It was a nasty transition that caused so many people to die on all sides. Super sad. The mystery was good and the culprit surprised me. 

I also LOVE THE COVER! Beautiful. 

In the end, I highly recommend this for everyone. Yes, there is some historical parts involved, but the author does a good job making it feel real and alive. The mystery and finding out all the secrets was for sure good. The ending did drag on a bit, but the rest of the of the story was fun. I shall stamp this with 4 stars. 

Sam Reviews "The Looking Glass" (The Locket #2) by Richard Paul Evans

I did not love this book as much as I loved The Locket.  I felt that it was more of a stand alone book than it was a sequel / prequel, and so I was disappointed it feel second in a series.  I think the story was sweet, well written, and realistic, but it wasn't my preferred story.  I don't typically enjoy historical fiction, which this was, as it was based in the 1850s.  I really love Richard Paul Evans' writing style, and I find his stories entrancing and easy to get through, but I don't see myself rereading this book.  I also don't think it is a necessary addition to it's predecessor.


"I love thee with a love I seemed to lose..."
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

"There are those who find God in the order of the universe - evidenced in elements as small as atomic nuclei to forces as massive as the cosmic energy that holds the galaxies at bay."

"Salvation, spiritual or otherwise, is not a solitary matter and along such journeys there are companions placed along our travels and travails, fellow sojourners who forever alter our paths and sometimes carry us when we are too weary to carry ourselves."

"At times, hearts are the most traitorous of devices.  They tumble headlong and blindly toward obvious dangers while they obstinately protect us from that which would likely do us the most good."

"...it is man's nature to distrust those unlike himself and fear those he does not understand."

"...there are moments in one's life more memorable than entire years.  But these moments are those usually wished forgotten."

"As sure as success will destroy a man, it will just as assuredly be imitated."

"How quickly it is forgotten that Midas's gift was a curse not a blessing."

"I do not wonder at the cruelty of this world,  as it seems the nature of it. I find myself more perplexed at why there is good at all."

"I suppose that my anger is more of habit now than sentiment."

"I believe it is among man's greatest quests of life,  not just to see life as it really is,  but to see his part in it."

"Our false beliefs can be a chain to our souls. Only if we hold on to who we truly are can we be free.  The danger is in the forgetting."

"'We do not see things in this life as they truly are - only as we believe they are.  ...we see through a glass darkly - but no glass is so dark, I think,  as the looking glass through which we view ourselves.  Nowhere does man err so greatly than when he looks to see the reality of who he is.' 

"'And who are we?'
"'We are worthy.   Worthy of life. Worthy of love. Worthy of kindness and gentleness. We are not some mistake of God or nature.'"

"'If i tell you, where will i reside in your heart?'
"'I don't know,  but you must have faith in me'"

"Not all pain was equal. There could,  in fact,  be delicious sorrow."

"The greatest shackles we bear in this life are those forged by our own fears."

"I have made a grave mistake. I have carelessly handled a heart entrusted to mine. And in so doing i have broken both."

Sam Reviews "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson - August 2016

First of all this is one of my alltime favorite books so I was very excited when Donnia picked it.

I found the Platinum Edition of this book at a booksale and there is a foreward by the author that this was a book she didn't even want to write which I think just makes me love it more.

What are your guys' take on the "The First Ten Lies They Tell You In High School"?
1.  We are here to help you.
2. You will have enough time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3.  The dress code will be enforced
4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds
5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
6. We expect more of you here.
7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8. Your schedule was created with your needs in mind.
9. Your locker combination is private.
10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.

"We got to World War I in seventh grade. Who knew there had been a war with the whole world? ... Iraq or Vietnam, one of those TV wars."

I think she made the wrong decision to not explain the situation when Mr. Neck asked her why she was in the hall without a pass.

Whenever I read this book I have to imagine the art class and teacher is choir so I can relate. Because I am no artist, I like words, so all his nonsense about art being your breath and soul doesn't resonate with me.

I really hate when people talk shitty of people for having sex even if they're refering to cheerleaders.  Especially statements like "Group rate abortions before prom".  Sure hate on cheerleaders for their special treatment by the staff, jealousy of their athletic bodies and dating jocks, even their parents assuming they are well off, but leave their sexual choices out of it.

"Linda means pretty in Spanish. They call me Me-no-linda for the rest of the period. This is how terrorists get started."

"She [the librarian] says that Maya Angelou is one of the greatest American writers.  ...  She must be a great writer if the school board is afraid of her."

When Melinda starts crying cuz her parents noticed her drawing more it reminds me of my bitterness that my parents never cared about my writing.

The part where Melinda talks about cutting herself with a paperclip and then her mom's response being "I don't have time for this" reminds me of my pathetic attempt at attention seeking self mutilation.

"He sets the coffee on the top of his car and fumbles in his pocket for the keys.  Very, very adult this, this coffee/car-keys/cut-school guy."

Even though I do find this whole "Let's not talk about things and hope they go away mentality", I will admit that the way Melinda acts around IT is the same way I act when I see Steven Dolliver or Joel Ritchie.

The part where Melinda skips school and jumps on the bus to go to the mall, and she uses the metaphor about "You just expect the mall to be there like milk in the refrigerator."  It's funny how, now reading that as an adult you think "Well if you don't put the milk there it won't just be there."  Also how she's saying she was surprised it was locked, I remember when my mom and I went shopping for my Senior Prom dress we got into Flint at like 8:30 or 9:00 in the morning and almost all of the stores didn't open until 10:00 and my mom was pissed because she hates driving in traffic which is why she had planned to go, shop, and be home before noon.

"...When people don't express themselves, they die one piece at a time.  You'd be shocked at how many adults are really dead inside - walking through their days with no idea who they are, just waiting for a heart attack or cancer or a Mack truck to come along and finish the job.  It's the saddest thing I know."

"Seeds are inefficient.  If the seed is planted too deep, it doesn't warm up at the right time.  Plant it too close to the surface and a crow eats it.  Too much rain and the seed molds.  Not enough rain and it never gets started.  Even if it does manage to sprout, it can be choked by weeds, rooted up by a dog, mashed by a soccer ball, or asphyxiated by car exhaust.  It's amazing anything survives."

"...it's ready to flower...this is a bad time to be a rose or a zinnia or a marigold, because people attack with scissors and cut off what's pretty.  But plants are cool.  If the rose is picked, the plant grows another one.  It needs to bloom to produce more seeds."

Thoughts on the Ten More Lies They Tell You In High School:
1.  You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2.  Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3.  Students must stay on campus for lunch.
4.  The new textbooks will arrive any day now.
5.  Colleges care about more than your SAT scores.
6.  We are enforcing the dress code.
7.  We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8.  Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9.  There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10.  We want to hear what you have to say.

"Sometimes I think high school is just one long hazing activity; if you are tough enough to survive this, they'll let you become an adult.  I hope it's worth it."

Sam Reviews "The Locket" (The Locket #1) by Richard Paul Evans

I loved this story.  First of all, I found myself stopping almost every other page to jot down quotes I want to share (so bear with me for the remainder of this post), which is a great sign of a beautiful story.  Secondly, in addition to being a well thought out set of parallel love stories, there is still an unexpected conflict halfway through.  This review will state I finished the book over the course of three days, but I read the first 25% slowly and finished off the remaining 75% in one night.  I cried for the final two chapters and finished this story saying "But, I want more..." and then pleasantry remembered that there is more to this story!  I cannot wait to start on The Looking Glass.

In addition to the overall greatness of this story, it also touched my heart in a few personal ways, as well.  Firstly, the main character's father was an alcoholic.  My dad was a recovering alcoholic for my entire life.  While my dad may not have succumbed to his addiction, he still had the personality of an addict.  Reading the parts about that the supportive mother/wife, the addict, and the forgiveness was very important tot me.  Also the clear unrequited love story, I am a sucker for stories like that, and this one was especially poignant for me because it made me think of a guy I've never really gotten over.  So because these points stuck out to me, you'll notice a pattern in the quotes I pulled out of the story.

"There are those who maintain that it is a shameful thing for a man to speak of sentiment, and the recounting of a love story must certainly quantify as such.  But if there is virtue in stoicism, I do not see it, and if I haven't  the strength to protest, neither have I the will to conform, so I simply share my story as it is."

"Faye had not yet asked where it was that I was taking her.   Her faith in our journey was not unlike her faith in our courtship,  attributable only to some godlike quality of the female mystique - an unwavering virtue of hope and patience..."

"My mother sacrificed all to protect me from that torment [the demons that haunted my father], to fill her child's heart with hope when her own was broken."

"The instant of my mother's death should have been...something worthy of a woman who suffered life's storms as a shelter for her only child and worried less about her hurt than that I might see her bleed."

"Though my heart ached, I would be lying if I did not admit that there was relief to get the inevitable over with.  Rich and poor did not mix."

"When someone we love is dying,  we do not ask doctors for a price list..."

"...my financial circumstances were the more easily solved of mine and Faye's differences, for all it takes to solve poverty is money.  There were greater deficits left by my father's abandonment.  ...his abandonment was sufficient to take things from me that I could not explain or replace."

"...I knew Faye could not last.  I knew it from the moment we first kissed.  ...  This was landscape I was certain of.  I could see it.  Her father demanded it.  Faye was only a matter of time.  So why, then, didn't she go?"

"Not all heroes are painted on white stallions."

"I liked this man.  He was not so much out of place in these surroundings as they were out of place with him."

"'All women have better taste in clothes than in men. It's easier to pick clothes than men.'
"'The problem with men is that you only get to pick once and then pray he stays in fashion the rest of your life.'"

"That which we expect from life is indeed all that it can ever be."

"There are those who, in the same breath, pray for the poor and for the blessing of never encountering them."

"You're contrary to everything in my life.   You're like a mirage.   It's hard for me to believe that someone as bright and beautiful as you isn't going to disappear when I get near."

"My parents would have me wait until everything in my life is neat and tidy with hospital corners. But life isn't best lived that way. ... I don't want some by-the-book life with neatly penned entrances like it were a Broadway production. I want to live it. For better or worse."

"The greatest acts of altruism have always been performed without audience or plaques."

"I can't decide if I'm protecting her from a more difficult life or protecting myself from when she can't take it anymore and leaves."

"'Do you suppose life gives us second chances?   If we've made a mistake in our lives,  do you think that God or fate gives us a second chance to make it right? '
"'I don't know. But we'd probably just make the same mistake over again.   Maybe I'm wrong. I just don't think I've seen any second chances in my life.' 
"'Perhaps you don't know how to recognize them.'"

"While it may be prudent to not leap until one looks, the longer one stands on the edge of a precipice,  the less likely one is too jump, as one becomes more painfully aware of the length of the fall."

"We are keen at denial, and old age,  like death,  is always someone else's destination."

"'I believe in hell.  And in heaven.  But I think they're the same place.   I believe death wakens us to the consequences of our actions - to feel the sorrow or joy we have caused in our lifetime. The location is irrelevant.'
"'What of the talk of fire and brimstone?'
"'It is figurative. How else could such torment be described?'"

"I believe some things aren't from  this world. It is as if God borrows some souls to share such great gifts."  [Referring to great literature]

"I must remind myself that sunsets too are beautiful,  before they leave you cold,  dark,  and alone."

"A lecture by a philosophy professor proposes that our concept of God is analogous to our perception of our own father."

"'I will never forgive him.'
"'You say that as if forgiveness was a gift you were giving to him.  Your father's dead. What good could forgiveness possibly profit him?   You must forgive him if you are ever to be free of him. We are chained to that which we do not forgive.  Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden. Not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.'"

"Your father could not control his drinking. He may have been weak,  or chose to give into the weaknesses,  but where did that leave him?  Why did he go to the streets when he could have stayed where he was warm and safe?  As pathetic a man as you think your father was,  he may have been honest enough with himself to know that he was too weak to ever change.  It is possible that your father left to free you and your mother."

"That which we spend our lives hoping for is often no more than another chance to do what we should have done to begin with."

"He spoke profoundly of trivial things which, I suppose,  is better than the inverse."

"Under the moon's glow he somehow looked different to me. Perhaps it is,  has always been,  that the moon gives visage only to that which is already within us."

"...to protect my heart from further disappointment with cynicism ... would be like poisoning oneself to avoid being murdered."

"The jury does not find you innocent,  they find you not guilty. They're not the same thing."

"The greatest tragedy is not to die unknown by strangers, but unloved by our companions"

"We looked at each other like strangers,  unsure of each other's hearts."

"While the life I lead may not match the picture in my head,  perhaps the one offered me is just as full of joy,  its pigments just as bright, just not what I expected."

"It felt wrong that I might open the door and Esther not be there. ... if, perhaps,  trespassing [the room]  would violate the memories that we had shared, rewriting over them  with a hollow,  lonely script."

"God does allow us second chances. But sometimes they're just best given to someone else."

"Shoshone Indians did not bury their dead,  but rather collapsed their homes around them."

Sam Reviews "Desperation" by Stephen King

I really enjoyed this story. I found it to be strangely addicting at times, and would have finished it a week early if I hadn't been overwhelmingly busy with real life things. I did think the heavy God stuff was strange and sometimes overwhelming, but I still loved how everything came together.

**some-what spoilers**

I loved that the scary thing in this story wasn't something science fictional and was something more omnipotent. I think that is why God was such a plot point in this story, because Tak was himself a type of God, or at least something equally stronger than man

Quotes:

"He loved the kid, after all, and love stretched to cover a multitude of oddities.  He had an idea that was one of the things love was for."

"Refusing to see the doctor would not cause any of those diseases to pause in their approach or their feeding upon him, but if he stayed away from the doctors ... he wouldn't have to know.  You didn't have to deal with the monster under the bed or lurking in the corner if you never actually turned on the bedroom lights."

"...they were already friends - the way people can become friends, for a little while, when they happen to meet on American back roads that go through the lonely places."

"Perhaps it would sound nutty if spoken aloud, but inside his head, it seemed perfectly logical."

"Sane men and women don't believe in God. ... You can't say it from the pulpit, because the congregation would run you out of town, but it's the truth. God isn't about reason; God is about faith and belief."

"He really was close to blind in the dark...  Had he really crossed the country on a motorcycle?  If so, God must love him a lot more than she ever would."

"She felt guilty about being hungry when Peter would never eat again, but she supposed the feeling would pass. That was the hell of it..."

"The outsider, the one from the earth...That one spoke in the language of the unformed, from the time before, when all animals except for men and the outsider were one."

"He now believed that one of the scariest lessons this nightmare had to offer was how lethally unprepared for survival they all were. Yet they had survived."

"Maybe he would smell [Tak on his skin] to start with,  but he wouldn't smell it for long. ...stink washed off.  Yes indeed it did.   That was one of the few things in life Johnny was entirely sure of."

"He would see her looking at him as she had always looked at him when he fucked up - patient because Johnny Marinville fucking up was the usual course of things,  disillusioned because she was the only one who kept expecting him to do better."

"Do you know how cruel your God can be?   How fantastically cruel?   Sometimes he makes us live."