Monday, June 29, 2015

16th Meet Up - June 2015

I had a great time with you all!  
Kudos to Aly for picking such a fabulous book that we all seemed to live.
And a special thanks to those who were able to bring a little dish to pass.
Can't wait to get together in July, and hopefully go see Paper Towns together, too!





Saturday, June 27, 2015

Sam Review's "Where She Went" by Gayle Forman - April 2015

Sam's Notes Taken Along the Way

So after the way "If I Stay" ended I was definitely not expecting to jump into the POV of Adam - who, by the way, seems like a total asshole when he's talking about himself and his life.  I'm almost disappointed that I even picked up this book after reading through Chapter One.  And, while it is somewhat of a relief that this story didn't turn out "perfect" and feel like a short story arc in a TV show, I'm disappointed that Mia appears to be alive and well and yet she and Adam aren't even in a "complicated long distance relationship" and instead he's just hanging loose with his band and Bryn.

I'm glad they made a point to discuss how some people don't freak out over trauma.  I know a part of that is because Mia had "known" all about the loss for a while, but I also feel it's true.  I know people look at me like a robot when I don't get terribly upset about my dad and other loses, but people all process things differently.

I guess it makes sense, realistically, that once Mia got away to New York, to Julliard that she got lost in herself and her emotional, mental, and spiritual healing, and just never came home.  And, the author did make a point to have Adam say that to her, "I'll let you go if you need to, if you'd just stay."

I really hate how Adam doesn't just say what he wants to say; especially after Mia tells him the story of the rude professor who told her to basically suck it up or be smothered.  I hate how drawn out all the "feelings" are when this is a no lose, no win situation where he could get the feelings off his chest and not really have any consequences.  Additionally, I don't understand why he took out all his bad feelings on his band, and how he doesn't even treat them as civil friends anymore.  That is just super unfair to them, and they're not even characters I'm terribly invested in as people.

I can honestly say I've never heard my dad's voice in my head.  I don't even have very realistic memories of what he sounds like.  Sometimes, I'll hear is laugh but that's about it.  I wonder if it will be different when I have more loss.  Because now, I can kind of talk to my mom and she can tell me what dad would probably say, and I believe her, so my brain doesn't really have to sit and ponder on what or how my dad would say something.

I'm glad there's finally some explanation regarding his "standoffish behavior" around Mia.  That he treated her as wounded after the accident, and just never stopped, even after she left him.  It makes more sense, and I can understand Mia hating it, because I hate reading it.

Over all I didn't like this part of the story as much as I liked "If I Stay".  I think part of it is that the "for the love of music" idea is lost on me, personally, and so I just wanted to skim through the "rock and roll lifestyle" bits and just jump to the raw emotions and dialogue with Mia.  However, I'm glad I finished the story, and I'm more happy with the ending of this book than I was with "If I Stay", even if they didn't seem completely linear at first.

--||--

Quotes Worth Mentioning

"It well may be that in a difficult hour,
Pinned down by pain and moaning for release,
Or nagged by want past resolution’s power,
I might be driven to sell your love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It well may be. I do not think I would."
Excerpt from “Love is not all:
it is not meat nor drink.”

"I saw how Mia went from being a very talented player to something altogether different.  In the space of five months, something magical and grotesque transformed her.  So, yes, it was all related to her "tragedy," but Mia was the one doing the heavy lifting.  She always had been."

"I don't know why I'd expect it [her voice] to be different except that everything's different now."

"I’ll be your mess, you be mine
That was the deal that we had signed
I bought a hazmat suit to clean up your waste
Gas masks, gloves, to keep us safe
But now I’m alone in an empty room
Staring down immaculate doom."
"Messy"  Collateral Damage - Track 2

"When Bryn said that, [Mia leaving Adam by choice instead of dying with the rest of her family], uttered out loud the thing that to my never-ending shame I sometimes felt, I’d fallen in love with her a little bit. And I’d thought that was enough. That this implicit understanding and those first stirrings would bloom until my feelings for Bryn were as consuming as my love for Mia had once been."

"Except even at the start, when we were in that can’t-get-enough-of-you phase, there was like some invisible wall between us. Then I justified it. This was just how adult relationships were, how love felt once you had a few battle scars."

I gesture toward the statue. “It’s like she has some kind of secret. The secret to life.”
"So ask her for it.”
“Ask her?”
“She’s right there. No one’s here. No tourists crawling around her feet like little ants. Ask her for her secret.”
“I’m not going to ask her.”
“You want me to do it? I will, but it’s your question, so I think you should do the honors.”
“You make a habit of talking to statues?”
“Yes. And pigeons. Now, are you going to ask?”

" “A grief club that I can’t join?”
I expect her to tell me no. Or that I’m a member. After all, I lost them, too. Except even back then, it had been different, like there’d been a barrier. That’s the thing you never expect about grieving, what a competition it is. Because no matter how important they’d been to me, no matter how sorry people told me they were, Denny and Kat and Teddy weren’t my family, and suddenly that distinction had mattered.

"Letting go. Everyone talks about it like it’s the easiest thing. Unfurl your fingers one by one until your hand is open. But my hand has been clenched into a fist for three years now; it’s frozen shut. All of me is frozen shut. And about to shut down completely."

"All I can think to do is keep playing because for the first time in a long time there’s nothing more I want to do. And I’m scared of what happens when the music ends."

Sam Review's "If I Stay" by Gayle Forman - April 2015

Sam's Notes Taken Along the Way

I am definitely reading this slower than I probably need to because I am anticipating all of the feelings about my dad that the story is inevitably going to stir up.  The part about watching people find them and seeing their concern and hearing their prayers made me have to take a break for a bit.

I relate a lot to the "feeling like you're not part of the family" thing.  My family all has one really big piece of talent that people acknowledge all the time.  Most of it is music, but my dad was an artist, and me - well, I'm mediocre.  And most people in my family told me that, even with lessons, I was mediocre.  The only point of pride for myself was my writing, but no one in my family is terribly interested in reading so they never realized how much it meant to me.

The scene where Mia's grandpa took her to, and around, New York was so sweet!  I always get a little heartsick when I read or watch special "family moments" because I've never really had that.  My family is so pragmatic that any trip like that would be seen as a burden.  And my family isn't close enough for me to ask extended family, I pretty much have my mom, my brother, and my grandma.

First unrealistic part of the story:  The parents who are just "so cool" they don't mind their daughter going to her older boyfriend's music shows for a month before actually having a "family meet and greet".  I know my parents were strict, but I also thought my parents' methods made sense - "You can date, but you can date here, under our supervision, because you're a girl.  And your brother can date under his girlfriend's parents' supervision, because he's a boy."

The part where they "played each other like musical instruments" was weird.  But it also reminded me of the scene in Middlesex (previous book club choice) where the main love interest placed their instrument (some sort of woodwind) against his lover's body and played so the music vibrated against her stomach, thighs, (and I think even her lady bits).

Oh my gosh, reading "modern day" references like "American Pie" makes me feel so old!  Like, I don't have "class" because I know what "old movie" they're talking about, I'm just "of that age".  Ew!

The story of how Kim and Mia didn't really like each other in the beginning was awesome.  Autumn and I weren't great friends at the beginning either, so I related to that part of the story, a lot.

I can also relate to the part of being assumed a "good girl" and having people in authority not believe - or not care - if you do something wrong.

The comparison of what Mia's mother "wanted" her funeral to be like with her husband, and how it actually turned out, tore me apart.  "She went with Dad."

I hate the end.  I hate it so much.

--||--

Quotes Worth Mentioning

"Dad grins at Teddy's noise, and seeing that, I feel a familiar pang.  I know it's silly but I have always wondered if Dad is disappointed that I didn't become a rock chick.  I'd meant to.  Then in third grade, I'd wandered over to the cello in music class..."

"They must have places to go, the people in these cars, but a lot of them don't turn back."

"Even though they don't know who we are or what has happened, they pray for us.  I can feel them praying."

"I think I had this notion that love conquers all.  I thought that getting to this part was the challenge.  In books and movies, the stories always end when the two people finally have their romantic kiss.  The happily-ever-after part is just assumed."

"I didn't know how to rock-talk at all.  It was a language I should've understood, being both a musician and Dad's daughter, but I didn't.  It was like how Mandarin speakers can sort of understand Cantonese but not really, even though non-Chinese people assume all Chinese can communicate with one another."

Kim about Jews:  "My people know how to fight with the best of the, but with words, with lots and lots of words."

",,,like they don't consider eyelids worthy of gentleness.  It makes you realize how little in life we touch one another's eyes.  ...  Eyelids are not like elbows or knees or shoulders, parts of the body accustomed to being jostled"
--  I personally touch my eyes a lot, and I fiddle with and pluck out my eyelashes when they won't stop getting tangled together.

"Mom was adamantly pro-choice.  She had a bumper sticker on the car that read If you can't trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child?  But in her case the choice was to keep me."

"I know this sounds ridiculous, but I'm glad it wasn't me.  I don't think I could have borne it.  Kim had to bear it."
--  Makes me think of the day Autumn told me she was glad that I lost a parent first because I was the strongest of the three of us.

"All the magic kisses in the world probably couldn't have helped him today.  But I would do anything to have been able to give him just one."

"Seventeen is an inconvenient time to be in love."

"Kim will be okay.  She'll move on.  She'll leave Oregon.  She'll go to college.  She'll make new friends.  She'll fall in love.  She'll become a photographer... And I bet she'll be a stronger person because of what she's lost today.  I have a feeling that once you live through something like this, you become a little bit invincible."

--||--

Book v. Movie

I honestly loved both the book and the movie.  I feel the move followed the book almost to a tee which is great.  You don't really miss much if you were to only watch the movie - other than I think I cried a lot more during the book.  Some of the major points of "Contrast" were as follows:

-In the movie, the dad is brought to the same hospital with Mia and Teddy.  In the book, the dad died on impact, and Mia almost stepped in his brain matter.  Also, in the book, Teddy and Mia were initially sent to the same hospital, but then Mia was transported to a different hospital.  So while Mia is up choosing whether or not to stay, she doesn't get to visit Teddy (or see Willow) until after Teddy dies at the other hospital.

-In the book, the band is called Shooting Star, in the movie it is called Williamette Stone

-In the movie there is a scene where Adam prints out pictures of the ceiling at the auditorium Mia is to perform her audition for Julliard.  This doesn't happen in the book, but I think this was a welcome change and a beautiful scene.  (Especially when she is at her audition looking nervous, but looks up and sees the familiar ceiling and calms down before performing).

-They didn't give Adam the exact same speech at the end.  In the book he says, "If you want me to quit the band and move to New York with you, I will.  If it's too hard, and you wanna leave everything and everyone behind, that's fine to.  I'll do whatever you want me to do, as long as you'll stay." In the movie he says, "I'll do whatever you want me to, as long as you'll stay.  I know now that it doesn't matter where we are, as long as we're together."

-The ending is exactly the same.  And I hate it.  If they don't make the sequel into a movie, too, I'm going to be so pissed.

Monday, June 1, 2015

15th Meet Up - May 2015

I had a great time getting together with you guys, and meeting Jobie (again).
I love how close our group is and how relaxed we all are with each other!