Overall I enjoyed this. A lot of the points were very similar to the last relationship book I read, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", except that this one was also heavily influenced by God. The Godly-ness of this novel sometimes enhanced the purpose of the methods, but also in some circumstances made it seem a little tiring, but of course that's probably more a personal preference than a true review of the book. I think there's a lot to be learned in this book, and I will definitely be taking tips into my future relationships. I don't think I'd revisit this book, nor do I think it was anything exceptionally phenomenal or one-of-a-kind.
There was a part in the book early on that explains how simply taking a shower at night can show how much you love your wife. He debunks every excuse he's heard in the past as a public speaker,
"A shower wakes me up in the morning."
"So can drinking coffee, brushing your teeth, and cold water splashed in the face."
"My skin gets too dry if I shower twice a day."
"It's called lotion, dude, use it!"
"My hair is unmanageable unless I style it right out of the shower."
"OK, Louise. If your hair is your priory in life, I guess I get that one."
"I can't shave at night; I'll have five o'clock shadow."
"So is it your boss you want kissing your cheek, or your wife?"
"I simply prefer my showers in the morning."
"That's right, I forgot. Marriage is all about you and your preferences. Never mind we're talking about real-life ways to say I love you."
"Seriously, how you smell means a ton to your wife. Remember, her sense of smell is much more acute. I can build a strong case that shows if you get into bed saying 'I love you' to her sense of smell, she will say 'I love you' in a way you clearly understand."
There was another part near this that explained how scientifically girls are more attuned to their senses even as newborns only a few hours old. I thought this was an interesting fact.
There was a quote pulled from a few different articles about something I had never heard of before, "Hurried woman syndrome".
This first snippet is from Chandrarekha Kaza, MD, an internist at the Advocate Health Center - Palos Heights:
"Symptoms include fatigue, moodiness, weight gain and low sex drive. And approximately 50 million American women have at least one of these symptoms."
This is from the author himself, "The illness is thought to be triggered by chronic stress and poor lifestyle choices, and it's main victims are women ages 25 to 55." Apparently this isn't a widely accepted diagnosis but I personally feel like it makes sense. I am guilty of the "Superwoman mentality" of trying to be everything for everyone and I definitely think it has taken a physical toll on my mind and body. "Women are more vulnerable than men to stress-induced illnesses, reports the American Medical Association."
This bit is from Boloji.com by Kavita Devgan:
"...urban women have to tackle similar pressures of home, office and other responsibilities. High stress and anxiety disorders, mild depression, physical exhaustion, digestive disorders, low sex drive, unnatural weight gain and low self-esteem are all indicators that something is not right," says Dr. Manju Mehta, Professor of Clinical Psychiatry, AIIMS."
The book goes on to explain how this "Superwoman mentality" has come about, primarily attributing it to WWII,
"Unlike the man who went to the factory and returned home to a wife who had spent the day cleaning and cooking, "Rosie" returned to an unkempt home with no meal waiting. Once home from the factory, "Rosie"still had a day's work ahead of her - cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry. Somewhere along the way, society said women had to do it all to be valuable. We fell for the lie that we had to prove we are just as good as or better than men."
There is a chapter based around the idea of "She needs to hear 'I respect you', and I definitely felt this chapter word for word. I'm pretty sure most of my quotes came from this chapter.
"A husband can show his wife respect using the phrase 'You're right' in little, every day ways. From choosing a restaurant to taking ballroom dance lessons, he says 'I respect you' by agreeing to go places and participate in activities that are important to his wife."
"One of the easiest ways to tell your wife you respect her is simply to communicate with her. Share the details of your day and call just to let her know you are thinking of her and you love her."
"I have to train myself to act when I hear that white noise [my wife's voice]. ... When I recognize Laura is speaking and I pause the television - or turn away from the computer - and turn my attention to her, I say 'I respect you'."
"Men, it can feel like an inconvenience - an interruption - to pause a TV show or computer game to listen to your wife, can't it? Let me ask this. If you have a craving for a Coke, do you hesitate to hit that pause button? No. Why would you show your wife less respect than your taste buds? We have to retrain our minds to realize our wife is not the distraction, she is the main event!"
The second most important chapter, in my opinion, was the "She needs to hear 'I desire you'" chapter.
"A woman needs seven significant, non-sexual touches in a day to feel loved." The chapter went on to say that not all touches are actual touches and simply doing household chores without being asked or expecting anything in return can be counted as a significant, non-sexual touch.
"'Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to fine china, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.'
"...Men, God sees your wives as fine china. He expects you to treat them accordingly."
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work,
"In one falls down, his friend can help him up,
"But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
"Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
"A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
"Most authentic men, would take a bullet for their wives. So why not take a bullet in the following ways: Spend fifteen minutes a day in face-to-face conversation. Hold her with no further expectations. Play with the kids. Help with daily household chores.
"Most authentic women, would follow their man with whatever dream. So why not follow him to: His favorite sporting event. The garage as he engages his hobby. The couch to watch his favorite show - the whole show without getting up. The bedroom.
"...Daily death to self will win the heart of the woman you love and the devotion of the man you love."
I really like that last quote. :)
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